Why marriage can become boring and its opposite: Morgana Muses!
Sadomasochism can seem like an aggressive concept, some insist that the BDSM community revolves around care, trust and inclusivity, which were all elements that had been missing from her previous life. “I just fall into this magical space and disappear. Someone asked me recently, have I found my boundaries? I said no, I’m still searching.”, says a porn star of BDSM movies who just turned 52.
Morgana Muses had been trapped in an unhappy marriage, suffering depression and psychotic breaks after both her pregnancies, and “dealing with being a mother while having a mental illness that no one will acknowledge”. Upon getting divorced, she realized society expected her to discreetly fade to black.
A turquoise-haired woman takes the stage at Berlin’s Porn Film Festival in stiletto boots and an evening dress split high up the thigh. The snigger from a couple in the audience is barely audible, but then, the woman is attuned to it. She stiffens for a second, and takes the microphone. “You can laugh if you like,” she says, “but darling, I was a young, gorgeous creature once – and you’re going to be my age one day.”
“I see myself as an ordinary woman who has had extraordinary experiences.”, she says. You know? Despite this extraordinary life I’ve lead so far – making it to 63 – I also feel trapped by the boundaries of…. (sometimes) conventions which simply don’t fit me anymore (never have, in fact!). Jealousy, for instance. Just don’t get it ! And having to justify myself all the time. I mean, I don’t have to ! But still, I follow some old, defunct patterns. Why? I wonder. I really wonder WHY !???!!!!
Morgana Muses: I envy you. Congrats