I have my freedom.
But I wonder if my freedom is also my biggest fear.
I know it to be my biggest prison and … No!
Not really.
I’m not just lonely.
That’s the term and the price to pay for….
My freedom.
I have always pioneered being alone in my quests.
How can I now be moaning and tearing up ?
I’m not just at the end of a long journey.
I am tired.
I’m desperate.
I’m desperate.
I’m desperate.
It doesn’t matter what I used to.
It doesn’t matter what I used to be.
It doesn’t matter what I used to do.
It doesn’t matter what I used to feel.
It doesn’t matter what I used to achieve.
None of that is a reality in 2019.
Now it’s capital CAPITAL letters and they spell: DESPERATION.
But nobody – not a single soul – will ever believe me.
They all think it’s yet another act.
And (who knows) it might be?
I own my freedom.
And since my freedom has me, we will disappear into the beyond and just stop THIS CLOCK. STOP THIS TIME !
STOP THIS HORRIBLE DESPERATION !
Gerald Thomas
NYC February 7, 2019