From the General to private: I’m both. Thus, exhausted! Thoroughly exhausted!

Painting by Philip Guston

Portugues and English:

As vezes me percebo exausto. Muito exausto (a ponto de não conseguir dar mais um único passo). E por que ? Porque sou
o general e – também aquele soldado raso (tudo ao mesmo tempo). Não há descanso. Jamais. Enquanto penso na estratégia, sou também aquele que tem que subir de binóculos naquele morrinho pra ver se tem algum inimigo vindo pra avisar pro General, que esta lá embaixo tentando descansar. Ufff! é exaustivo.

Sometimes, most of the time (actually) I’m just beyond exhaustion. I mean….just amazingly exhausted (to the point where I find it almost impossible to go another half a mile or a single step, sometimes). And why? There is no such thing as “resting” for me. No such thing. There’s no relaxing. Never, ever. I’m the general and the private, all at once, all in one, all combined, a single body taking the blow. And, while the general – who spent the day thinking up strategies etc – tries to rest up a little, whether via a quick nap, whether a quick dozing off or… I’m also the GI who goes up the hill with a pair of binoculars to watch out. “WATCH OUT” to see if the enemy is coming. And if that’s the case, ALERT THE GENERAL attempting to rest down below. Yes, what a life. Stiff neck, tense torso, tense all around. Now, in Venice, Italy. Exhausted.

Gerald Thomas

July 10, 2017

Venice, Italy

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