Deliriums at dawn and Hearts of Darkness.

GERALD EIGER

“Deliriums at Dawn”

Turkish police have detained a Belgian man of Moroccan origin on suspicion that he scouted out the target sites for Islamic State in attacks that killed 130 people in Paris, according to the country’s Dogan news agency.

Counter-terrorism police first became aware of the man when he arrived on a flight to Antalya and tracked him to the hotel in the Manavgat district of the city, Dogan said.

Separately Turkey deported a group of Moroccans detained at Istanbul’s main airport this week over suspected links to Islamic State.

The eight, who said they had arrived at Ataturk airport on Tuesday night from Casablanca for a holiday, were detained by border police and questioned by profiling experts who flagged them as suspected militants, a government official said.

Lucky me? Unlucky me? This last week I booked and then cancelled flights and hotel reservations for those two countries: Morocco and Turkey. I’m still sitting here in panic (somewhere in Europe thinking if and where the next coordinated attack by these lunatics will be and who exactly will profit – since The Prophet – no longer has anything to do with this: these are not Muslims: these are petty criminals, thieves, gangs members. Little ‘Pirates of Penzance’, somewhat mirrored in Johnny Depp, sword of AK47s in hand, Black Flags, black berets, dark minds, nomads, no-man’s lands, the Che Guevara aesthetic of the 1950’s guerilla, the forest fighter and the running GUMPS!

In 2009 I wrote a MANIFESTO saying goodbye. Here it is, in case you might be interested (https://geraldthomasblog.wordpress.com/manifesto/). I was tired then. I am tired now.

But, somehow, I still found some strength in something that I can’t explain. Barack Obama maybe? Call me naïve, but I still had hope and I resurfaced in London with the London Dry Opera Company and did some (in my opinion) good stuff. I released a book of my (old) drawings and paintings (Arranhando a Superficie / Scratching the Surface). Yes, scandal here, scandal there. The usual.

But, these recent attacks, beginning with the “Charlie Hebdo” in early 2015, together with the suicide of Robin Williams in August of last year (which deeply, deeply affected me!), did something to me, brought me back to a horrible state of mind and… Right after that, I myself, tried committing suicide. And it was for real. I just didn’t want to live another day. I was saved by Dr. Urs and by Air Glaciers. Yet, it took me a while to fully comprehend what had happened.

Plus the loss of more friends this year than in any other year, put me in a place I hate to be in: PANIC.

I am where I was just after the 9/11 attacks and where I hate to be: in panic.

Finally, after eleven years in the making (yes, 11 years!) I handed in my autobiography “And Dead, We Walk”. I cannot quite believe I’ve done it but I have! It’s there, with the publishers and I’m waiting to proofread it.

AND I’ve managed to finish my goddamn novel “The Lost Case of a Brief Case”, also delivered to the publisher. AND a compilation of my plays, in both English and Portuguese will also be published.

I’ve always been rather skeptical of publishing these texts since my theater is more than just words words words. It’s the entire Gesamtglücksfallwerk (the work of total chance). But, upon reading some of them again, lately, I thought that some of the texts do register some part of the idea so…why not?

It is hard to think of ART in a world under siege and in a state of emergency practically run by FEAR. Brecht managed. Yes, but it wasn’t a world invaded by devices and APPS and social media and so much instant crap and a ‘bombardment” of another kind.

THUGS! I really did think that the era of George W and Cheney and those thugs was over. Foolish me. When I hear Trump and the like, I don’t know whether it’s a show or if he means it. Because, should he make it to the Oval place there (God forbid), the US will have WALLS around it and will become everything that the US isn’t. These WALLS keep popping up, don’t they? How bizarre! Walls! So, the GOP has gone mad, more than ever before! I mean, this time it’s back to the Black Lists and the McCarthy era and the Theater of the Absurd.

And, if The Theater of the Absurd has finally made it into mainstream politics, by which I mean, to the United States Presidential Race, then we the orphans of Samuel Beckett and Ellen Stewart and the entire Off Off Broadway movement have been conned.

Am I bitter?

Probably. No, not bitter. Angry.

Personally, I’ll say what I said back in that MANIFESTO in 2009: I’m incredibly grateful for the amazing life I’ve had. After all, only a few of my generation have achieved what I’ve managed to achieve and I am proud (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_Thomas_(theatre_director)

I’ll be around. How? Not sure how. Maybe thru these “Deliriums at dawn”. Yes, I have a lot to complain about.

It will just be another side of me.

Just wait and see.

And you will see me here (and only here)

http://www.geraldthomas.com

http://geraldthomas.net (videos)

Instagram ‘geraldthomas1’

and here, on this blog

Gerald Thomas

November 21, 2015

 

 

 

 

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